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Tuesday, 27 July 2010

An Even Sun.

A word from the bake sale.

Thanks to everyone who swung by the bake sale on Sunday afternoon and purchased some delicious treats. You guys must have been hungry because we managed to raise an impressive $200 for Edgar's Mission. Make sure you check out Pam's amazing work here www.edgarsmission.org.au , and thanks so much for being so generous with your coins and compliments. It's made us feel all warm and gooey inside.

See you at round three. x

Shopping With A Cartesian

Following up from his awarding of the much-coveted (by me at least) Rapha 'Cross jersey to the sole female entrant in the CX category, Malachi at Northside Wheelers has promised to provide prizes for the Ladies CX podium should we be able to fill it at Round#3.

This includes a Rapha Ladies Classic Jersey and a variety of much-desired* accessories.

You can race at your own pace, and as long as you make it to the bell lap (~40mins)  you can take as many cookie/beer-handups as you like.

Given that all is required to have a chance at some sweet product is some simple mods to your road bike (or fixed gear - though you'll need a freewheel too) you would have to think this is an attractive offer.

*based on the theory that everytime Rapha comes up in a conversation people inevitably say 'oooohhh! that stuff looks really good'

Monday, 26 July 2010


The round-up:

Damoh Hodges, who binned it bad on Sunday, took himself to emergency yesterday and seven hours later was told he had a stiff neck. Good news comes to those who wait.

We spoke to the Ranger at Darebin Parklands today and were informed that we would be more than welcome back there again next year. He said that two days on the course was still visible, so anyone foolish enough to do something else last Sunday arvo can still ride what was the course. He also received no complaints whatsoever about the flow of naughty words emitting from the PA.

Welcome to another new sponsor, Human Powered Cycles. As well as stocking excellent bikes, parts and accessories, they also employ our flyer designer, Tara Jayne. As per usual, you should click on the link to the right.

The lovely lady who had number 5 on Sunday forgot to hand it back. If she could please return it to DISC velodrome on any Tuesday night over the next few weeks - preferably ASAP - it would stop us from coming knocking on her door. Believe me, you don't want that. We're terrible houseguests.

And, finally, the course next month will be back at Brunswick Velodrome. Expect it to be considerably different from June's course, however. No walls nor fences nor velodrome banks can hold us in!

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Hey Man, Hey! Hey!

Another glorious Sunday afternoon, another excuse to get down and dirty in a local park. This time the venue was Darebin Parklands. They took a lot of convincing to let us stage the event there. I'm sure they won't be regretting their decision at all right now.

The Open Category was again dominated by mountain bikes, but there were some notable exceptions. Aside from the obvious, there was a nobr akes battle happening between two madmen on fixies, and some random guys who seemed to just be riding by on their commuter bikes when they were entangled in a bike race. I'd love to be there when they try explaining to their wives why they were three hours late and filthy.

We had mentioned during the week that Northside Wheelers had offered to award a Rapha Jersey to the best outfit. John Groves here was obviously after some Rapha. He didn't get it, but did inspire some of the best heckling of the day.

The thing is, if you rock up in an outfit like that, you've either got to be absolutely crap, so crap it's cute, or be able to totally pants everybody else. By the end of the second lap, Groves had shown that he was of the latter category.

Last month's second place getter Matt Gray rolled up for another crack, and formed one half of the bitterly fought fixed-gear CX battle.

The other half was Jay, who did not win. Lucky he got some sweet footage from that helmet cam.

Mr Dylan once again rolled up on his '86 Diamondback, and was this time able to match his faceplate number to the number pinned on his shirt. On hearing that there was a five dollar spot prize going to anyone who could bunnyhop the barriers, he gave it a good crack, but succeeded only in knocking the barriers over. The five dollars eventually went to some big bloke wearing a camelback, hushing up hipsters everywhere. Not to be outdone, Damoh Hodges had a crack, but clipped his rear wheel on the wood, sending his bike cartwheeling into the air and him face first into the dirt. He doesn't remember much of the two laps after that. He did, however, win some coffee from Supreme for his efforts.

Groves eventually won the category, and committed himself to a victory salute that puts all others, including Mark Cavendish's stupid "Hanging on the Telephone" salute from last year's Tour. Matt Gray again took out second, and Dyon Balding once again took out third. Look for those two to gang up on whoever is coming first next time around. First girl went to Helen Newman, followed by Emma Caddy and Jess Morgan.

The CX category was up next, and the field was pretty impressive, boasting a number of A grade roadies and former Euro Pros. Discussions about the form of various riders (and their favourite places to get coffee) were becoming heated.

Once again the course featured a hill that riders were forced to run up, ride down, then ride back up again. This hill became a key vantage point for spectators to both encourage and humiliate riders, as well as enjoying a few cold beverages in the afternoon sun.

For perhaps the first time ever in the history of bike racing, all the riders were assembled before the commissaire was present. Thus it was left to the poorly-equipped commentary staff to explain the rules. And tell poor taste jokes.

Some of which were appreciated.

In the commentator's eagerness to fill the conversational void, he offered a five dollar spot prize to the person who rounded the first corner in first place. This set the scene for much headbutting and elbowing for position, but also allowed my cousin Dean's best mate Jeremy Soawyer to set the tone for the rest of the day.

The all-star cast once again included Samuel W. McGregor, who managed to hold on to the breakaway group of riders until, perhaps still recovering from his State Title Winning performance last weekend, he was dropped on the second last lap. This race different significantly from the last, in that the long sections of paved course meant that riders largely stuck together, forming large groups, attacking each other, regrouping - just like a road race. Either that or they'd just been watching too much of Le Tour.

Huw Vellacot, of Commuter Cycles fame, rolled up with two spare tyres wrapped around him and a Peugeot Bike from the mid 80s. Perhaps he too had heard about the Rapha Jersey up for grabs.

Some of the off-camber corners were tricky. Desperately searching for something to say about the middle of the pack riders, the commentator invented a struggle to the death battle between Nik Cee, pictured above, and Blakey. While Nik won, they were later seen holding hands together in the lengthening shadows.

A prize for best outfit went to Mark Gilligan, who not only rode a postie bike in the CX category, but also dragged out a jersey that his mum must've bought for him at the Dandenong Markets in 1985. He was last spotted wearing the woollen 'Made In Australia' jumper featured on the cover of Women's Weekly in March of the same year. Consistent!

Despite there being literaly thousands of photos of this event online, I can't seem to find one of the CX podium. So here's a gratuitous picture of the winner of the 'King of the Hill' award, Benzy. This award went to the rowdiest, drunkest, loudest rider, and Benzy was a willing recipient, though he was at pains to insist he did not DNF. He won a sweet Fyxomatosis KoM shirt, which we didn't know we had until Andy arrived with his dog.

First girl went to Alison Heskes, who was controversially awarded the Rapha Jersey. When quizzed about his decision, Malachi from Northside Wheelers said she was easily the most stylish, then told everyone to fuck off. There were no second and third place getters in the girls category, as there were no other girls. Some of the girls in the audience seemed very interested in the possibilities here.

Third place went to last month's winner of the Open category, Lewis Rattray, who obviously decided in the spanning month that there was something to this whole CX malarky. Second place went to Mikkeli Godfree, whose name the commentator didn't once pronounce correctly. And first place went to Jeremy Soawyer, who has obviously been benefitting from coming out for rides with me on every other Sunday Arvo.

Special thanks once again go to:

The Brunswick Cycling Club, in particular Nath Fraser, Dave Morgan, Greg Brunt (and Greg Brunt's boss for the loan of the truck), Samuel W. McGregor, Jess Morgan, Kimberly Morgan, Helen Morgan (it's a family affair) Nonie Carr and Geoff Lees;

Our radtastic sponsors - Sram, Jamis, Maxxxis, Coffee Supreme (especially for bringing coffee!), Pedros Tools, Northside Wheelers, Commuter Cycles, Cleanbottle and Pony Bikes. See those links to the right? Click on them;

The good folks of the Darebin Creek Management Committee, for taking a chance on some dirty unshaven cyclists with bad tattoos, who swore black and blue that a) the park would be the same Sunday night as it was Sunday morning and b) they wouldn't have loud music or amplified commentary;

Everyone who came down early and banged in stakes, hung up bunting, took orders from Nath, set up tents and generally helped out;

The most excellent peeps running the bake sale - as well as raising a ridiculous amount of money for Edgar's Mission, they kept me well fed all day with cookies, cupcakes and occasionally sarcastic remarks;

The folks who watched, yelled, brought cowbells, drank beer, held impromptu picnics, spilled cheap wine on riders, occasionally tackled other participants, made inappropriate remarks about poor taste outfits, laughed at the commentator's jokes, took photos, and otherwise made the event fun as hell;

The riders. Especially the fit guys who won and the unfit guys who had fun. You guys rule.

Photos again used entirely without permission. Stolen from:

Strange Journey Man
FC, my brother in inappropriately named and occasionally NSFW blogs.
Dave Hogan
Old Mate

I'm sure more are on their way, including a number of films of the event. I'll edit them in when they arrive.


Your Nation.

Results are in. Let me decipher them for you. Number of laps completed, then finishing order on the last lap. It works out well this way, as you benefit from sprinting for 35th place at the end. Well, maybe your ego does! To make it even easier, this time they're in order, so if you're 20th on the list, you came 20th. Nice work, Mick Effond! We're in the process of sorting through the literally thousands of photos, and will put a full report up soon.

Open Class (no bike restrictions)
40 minutes + 1 lap

bib rider laps fin
1 20 John Groves 10 1
2 4 Matt Gray 10 3
3 13 Dyon Balding 10 12
4 7 Jay Dougrey 10 19
1 John Wright 10 23
24 Cam Woolcock 10 27
26 Jason Dennis 9 4
17 Greg Marem 9 10
23 Tristan Bretherton 9 11
21 Sam Lilley 9 14
14 Ian McGinley 9 15
11 Joshua McDougal 9 17
6 Ben Vlass 9 18
22 David Masterson 9 21
2 Damian Hodges 9 22
9 Chris Arnold 9 24
25 James Walmsley 9 25
12 Andrew McConnell 8 9
8 Hayden Barnie 8 13
15 Mick Effond 8 20
19 Mark Edmondson 8 26
16 Helen Newman 7 2
5 Emma Caddy 7 7
29 Jess Morgan 6 5
18 Greg Brunt 6 6
3 Dylan Warner 6 16
30 Jeffrey Lees 4 8
10 Hannah Bush 7 dnf
27 Paul Heskes 7 dnf

Cyclocross Class (cross bikes only)
40 minutes + 1 lap

bib rider laps fin
1 14 Jeremy Soawyer 9 1
2 43 Mikkeli Godfree 9 2
3 41 Lewis Rattray 9 4
4 47 Sam Beck 9 7
8 Sam McGregor 9 9
33 Nicholas Edwards 9 10
44 Christopher Carr 9 11
6 Dean McClellan 9 22
26 Hew Vellacett 9 24
9 Hayden Kerr 9 25
50 James Maebus 9 32
2 Nic Cotterel 9 34
30 Karl Pavey 9 38
37 Bryron Davey 9 39
1 Andrew Blake 9 40
36 Justin Matthews 9 41
32 Paul Hooper 9 42
12 Adam Trewin 8 3
5 Alistair McDonald 8 6
7 Andrew Scott 8 8
21 Andrew Gane 8 13
31 Andrew Spencer 8 14
3 Tom Crowley 8 15
29 Christopher Black 8 17
46 Andrew Luedecke 8 19
34 Jason Flaherty 8 21
17 James Kent 8 23
23 Max Provera 8 27
38 Miguel Crespo 8 28
4 Mal Doreian 8 30
20* John Groves 8 31
48 Peter Kennedy 8 33
10 Philip Greenwood 8 35
28 Che Dungey 8 36
22 Rohan Drape 8 37
24 Reuben Ruiter 8 43
11 Mike Claytor 8 44
35 Brent Wejendorp 8 45
18 Justin Emerson 7 5
42 Stu Weir 7 12
45 Matthew Barron 7 16
39 Mark Gilligan 7 18
16 Luke Cunningham 7 29
40 Pete Curtis 6 20
20 Allison Heskes 6 26
25 Leigh De Luca 8 dnf
27 Ben Dowling 8 dnf
13 Cameron McIntyre 7 dnf
15 Justin Perrin 5 dnf

Thursday, 22 July 2010

What's The Scenario?

If you bought a 3-ride permit last time, you need to bring it again this time! Otherwise you'll have to pay for another one. And that would suck. If you've since bought a CA licence, you are ready to ride. Go strong, my friend.

Everybody Needs Somebody.

From baker extraordinaire Caseymoira:

The great vegan bake sale is back this Sunday with more treats than... well... Halloween... or something.

It'll kick off around 12:30 and it's the gold coin donation business again. All funds go to the amazing Edgar's Mission (www.edgarsmission.org), which is a farm animal sanctuary.

Learn from Benzy's mistake and get in early, as things sold out pretty quick last time.

See you Sunday!

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Swing That Music For Me.

A popular website mentioned today that there may be two CX grades on Sunday. This is mostly due to our own success. It's hard to be so awesome. But we should probably explain it to you guys. The grading will depend on the numbers. If we get more than 60 entrants in the CX category, we'll split it in two. Grading will be based on previous results. Failing that, we'll size you up and put you in a grade. If you end up in B and thrash everyone, next month you'll be in A. If you end up in A and get dropped, next month you'll be in B. Your glory or your pain will only be temporary either way.

The Open category will be unaffected.

You're Having the Time of My Life

As mentioned in a previous post - Northside Wheelers are offering up a great 'cross jersey and have decided to award it to the 'Best Dressed' racer on the day.

So handwash your favourite belgian team's skinsuit, break out the vintage road kit or simply find something like these gentlemen...

Sunday, 18 July 2010

If You Can't Dance.

So, if I were crazy about CX, this is what I'd do this weekend:

Friday night - go to the Bicycle Black Market at Commuter Cycles and watch sick CX movies.
Saturday - go for an easy CX ride on the Yarra Trails with Nik Cee.
Sunday - roll up to Darebin Parklands around 12! Hell yeah!

View Larger Map

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Like Spinning Plates

Like a lot of things in this world, we all get by with a little help from our friends... And that might be the club that supports us, those people who kindly step up and volunteer their time, our loved ones who let us be distracted for hours at a time planning for these events (or practicing for them) but it more importantly includes those businesses that give us assistance in a variety of different ways.

I'm very happy to announce two more sponsors to add to our already amazing list:
Northside Wheelers - Malachi is carrying a dazzling array of vintage and premium cycling apparel and accessories down in Prahran. He is also the largest stockist of Rapha and if you haven't checked out that gear in the flesh its hard to really appreciate how nice it actually is. He is very kindly offering a 'Cross Jersey as a prize.

Thanks to some friendly connections we now have Maxxis Tyres on our sponsors list. With a strong reputation for quality MTB tyres, their 'cross offerings have also aided several very good riders to top finishes in the US/Canada.

Thanks again!

Thursday, 15 July 2010

I'm Still Sleeping.

Hey, at the end of the last Dirty Deeds race someone approached Nik and I in the Brunswick clubrooms and told us he was interested in helping out with the rest of the series. He was from a bike store, he said, and as he had ridden a bit of CX in the UK, they had always stocked CX parts and accessories. He then gave us his email address, which I left on the bench inside the clubrooms, and promptly never saw again. If you are that guy, please email us at secretary@brunswickcyclingclub.com . Because we need all the help we can get.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

I Read All The Books.

Hey, the next race is only ten days away! If you need a 3-ride permit, either let us know here, email secretary@brunswickcyclingclub.com, or come along to the Bicycle Black Market at Commuter Cycles on the 23rd and purchase one then. If we get our acts together, we may also have 6 month licences available then too. Imagine that. You'd get to race two more CX races, any track races, any crits, and any road races, until the end of the year. Except perhaps the world champs in Geelong in November. If you're reading this, I don't think you've been invited. But every other race would be open to you!

Whichever option you choose to take, let us know.

I Just Want Back In Your Head

So I get a message from one of our loyal supporters about a guy up in Mt Beauty who raced 'cross many moons ago over in the UK.

He has been looking for it to emerge over here for quite a while and came across the blog post describing DD#1 and his excitement reached fever pitch.

He claims to be well out of shape and out of practice, but I've heard that excuse too many times from people who beat me soundly shortly after to take it too seriously. After all this is a guy who learnt dismounts/remounts with clips and straps.

I leave you with a photo of him when he was 'fit and mad' so you have some chance of recognizing the racer who looks like your (grand)father when he leaves you eating his mud.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

We Want To Go Far.

Man, the festivities around the Cyclocross continue to grow. On the Friday before the next race - on the 23rd of July - there will be a Bicycle Black Market at Commuter Cycles. I've been informed that there will be both Cyclocross parts available and CX movies being screened. That rules! If you can't read the flyer above (or be bothered clicking on it), it's at 14 Prentice St, Brunswick, from 5 til 8. Movies start at 9!

Sunday, 11 July 2010

That's All She Wrote.

Hey, does anyone have a generator they can loan us for the race on the 25th? It just won't be the same cyclocross we've come to know and love without my dulcet tones.

I hope we get one, otherwise we'll have to put Blakey on the rollers for three hours and hook the PA up to his dynamo.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Shit, I Got A Headrush.

If you wanna hear Nath and I talking about Dirty Deeds on 3CR, the podcast is available here.

I'm the whiny sounding one.

Monday, 5 July 2010

How A Resurrection Really Feels

A little late but rather than never I went to see one of Melbourne's hardest... cyclists.

The stresses of race organisation and riding leading up to last weekend and then a solid hitout in the mud during the race had left me feeling stiff on Monday. When I saw Scooter on Tuesday at the Padre Madison I figured it was time for a consult with the big guy.

I highly recommend him and his services whether you've been slogging out your kms over the cold months, or simply have had a few hard rides and have that 'beat legs' feeling.

He knows cyclists legs and isn't afraid to get stuck into your muscles. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to ride home afterwards, but today the legs are starting to come good. I've been assured that tomorrow i'll be 'dancing on the pedals',

"Do yourself a favour"

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Cut The Cord

Euro Cycling Videos always have the craziest music... Can you feel the lasers?

It's just as easy to turn the sound down on the clip and up on your favourite warm-up song.

This looks like it was a total crash-fest. We need to find a way of running a race down along the Bay just to get a solid sand section.